


For Whose Sake?

by SaraJaye



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Blood, Developing Relationship, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route Spoilers, First Aid, Holding Hands, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mention of graphic and infected wounds, Post-Blue Lions Route (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Regret, Self-Doubt, Tending to Wounds, stab wounds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:53:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24935587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaraJaye/pseuds/SaraJaye
Summary: The wound left by the dagger is still healing, but the emotional hurt is sharper than any physical impact. In the aftermath, Dimitri wonders if he did the right thing.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd & Edelgard von Hresvelg, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 3
Kudos: 38
Collections: Hurt/Comfort Bingo - Round 11





	For Whose Sake?

The day after the Empire falls, Dimitri ascends the throne. The next day, Professor Byleth travels to Zanado to speak to Lady Rhea, the newly-knighted Ashe by her side as always. Between all of that is the reconstruction of the kingdom and Fodlan as a whole, and some days Dimitri barely gets any rest.

"Let someone else handle the paperwork," Felix says as he helps Dimitri undress for the night. They've grown much closer over the months, slowly reclaiming the bond that Dimitri thought had been broken after the suppression in Duscur. Little steps that began during the campaign slowly grew into seeking each other out, protecting each other in battle, actually _talking_ about the past nine years. By the end, they'd rekindled more than just an old friendship but an unspoken affection. Undressing each other before bed every night is the kind of intimacy he never thought Felix would display with him.

The calm softness of the moment is halted, though, when Felix begins to tug at the bandages he's almost forgotten are there.

"I'll get the healing salve and some soapy water," he says, and Dimitri just nods, eyes boring into the reflection of the exposed wound. He keeps replaying the moment over and over: Edelgard collapsing to her knees as her human form resurfaces, holding out his hand, the look in her eyes going from bewildered to sharp, the pierce of the dagger into his flesh, her body falling in a heap on the floor as Areadbhar ends her life.

_El..._

Even as the professor took his hand and led him away, he could see the regret on her face, too.

Thankfully, Edelgard hasn't become one of the ghosts who used to haunt his every waking moment, but she still lingers in their memories. His own, the professor's, the few Black Eagles who managed to survive. Bernadetta and Caspar, who joined the Blue Lions, and Petra, who came to say her formal goodbyes before returning to Brigid.

And of course, in the bright red mark that sits angrily on his shoulder, her last act of defiance.

Felix approaches with washcloths, a bucket of water, and the jar of salve Mercedes had given them. Dimitri sits down at the bed to let Felix work, closing his eye so he doesn't accidentally look down.

Some of the wounds he incurred during his time as a vagrant became infected, disgusting, and he didn't flinch as he tended to them every day just to keep from losing whatever body part had been shot or stabbed. None of them hurt nearly as much as the sting of that blade through his shoulder.

_Why, El? For a moment, I thought you'd take my hand...was the thought of being saved by me so repulsive?_ Maybe it was, Dimitri realizes. And who could blame her, after he'd spent five years calling for her head, telling her to her face how much he wanted to kill her. She'd grown used to it, and suddenly here he was offering to talk to her and reaching out at the last minute. _Hypocrite. You weren't thinking of her at all, you were only trying to save your own pathetic soul._

No, he almost cries out, no, that's not it, even after all she did during the war he'd wanted to give her a second chance.

_So you could lord it over her how **lucky** she was that the gallant and wonderful King of Hypocrites brought home his lost, foolish sister? Were you hoping to rehabilitate her? Make her over until she was the image of the perfect little princess she'd have become had she stayed in the Holy Kingdom? All so you could feel good about yourself?_

The last few words begin to sound exactly like her, and he flinches, eye snapping open.

"Hey." Felix nudges his uninjured shoulder. "Don't tell me the Savior King can't handle a little soap. It's the mildest one we've got, Mercedes assured me it'd be just right." Dimitri smiles sadly.

"Felix, was I wrong?" Felix blinks, the washcloth's motions slowly come to a stop as he drops it in the bucket. He lays a dry cloth against the wet skin, his expression so soft and concerned Dimitri could cry.

"You're thinking about her again."

"I was a fool," he says. "To reach out to her like that. After all the time I spent declaring my hatred for her, wishing to end her, making it my life's mission to bring her head as a trophy to _ghosts_..." He shakes his head. "I wasn't thinking of anyone but myself, was I?"

"Okay, boar, where's this coming from? Did someone say something rude to you?" Felix asks as he begins to apply the salve. "Whose ass am I gonna have to kick?" Dimitri almost smiles. Felix has also become very protective of him lately.

"Nobody said anything. It's just...Edelgard was willing to die for her beliefs, for her vision of a perfect world." He sighs. "But as she knelt there, weakened, all I wanted to do was save her. But was it really for her sake, or for my own? Think of all she'd have to endure if she lived. Prison time, everyone aware of her crimes, living the rest of her life as the failed conqueror."

"Just like you killed and maimed your way across Fodlan for five years, tried to torture a guy, ignored the Kingdom for the sake of revenge and needed my old man's death and the professor to slap some sense into you?" Felix offers.

"It's not the same." Felix is getting to work with the bandages now, and Dimitri is finally able to look down. "They forgot all about my misdeeds because they were so happy to have their King back. Edelgard lost everything. She'd be living a life of misery and disgrace." He shakes his head. "What was I thinking, Felix? What right did I have to hold out my hand to her?"

"Because when you were at your lowest point, someone held out their hand to you," Felix says. "Someone who'd seen you cross the line but still believed you could come back over it. You wanted to do the same for her."

"But-"

"She was your _family,_ " Felix cuts him off, securing the last of the bandages in place. "This wasn't just you trying to feel good and right about redeeming a crazy person, you were trying to save someone you cared about! If it were me and Glenn I'd have done the same thing for him."

He pauses then, his hand suddenly moving towards Dimitri's chest, his eyes downcast.

"And I should've done it for you back then."

"Felix..."

"Don't get me wrong, I'm not going around beating myself up for the past," he says quickly. "I mean, what's done is done. But...I _wish_ I'd held my hand out to you all those times, instead of pushing you away."

"You had the right to." But Felix's hand is so warm, Dimitri can't help clasping it in his own as he blinks away tears.

"Idiot." Felix smiles. "But you're my idiot." He helps Dimitri remove the rest of his clothes, surveying him for any other scars that may need treatment. Dimitri glances down at the bandaged swath of his shoulder, sighing again.

"If only I knew what she was _thinking_ in that moment."

"But you don't," Felix says. "You're not a mind-reader, and unless she left behind a diary or something you never _will_ know." Actually, Edelgard _had_ kept a diary, and a series of memoirs, but when Dimitri asked the sole surviving attendant of their whereabouts he'd discovered she'd burned them. _The Emperor requested that any records of her personal feelings during this time be destroyed should she fail._

He's not sure why he expected any different.

"I suppose so." He quietly puts on his sleeping trousers, then gets to work undressing Felix. He'll never know what Edelgard was thinking, but he can't afford to let it haunt him. The wound will eventually scar over, the scar may or may not fade, and all he can do is move forward. "Thank you, Felix."

"Hey, what good's a sworn man and best friend for if he doesn't know you better than you know yourself?" Felix smiles, tugging on the companion shirt to Dimitri's trousers. They settle onto Dimitri's bed, which is slowly becoming "their" bed. Felix's hand in his, their fingers laced together.

That night, before he drifts off to sleep, he notes that the wound seems to hurt less than it did earlier today.


End file.
